Lean in by Sheryl Sandberg

Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg is one of those books you read because it's all over the news and there's The Debate: is it feminist, can be it feminist if there's no interest in social justice whatsoever (there isn't); oh, all those arguments are specious, women are just catty towards successful women like Sandberg and that's why she's getting all this flack, yada yada.  

I am not sufficiently educated in contemporary feminist thought to comment on whether the book is a good reflection of popular feminism, other than I hope it is not. I do know that I found it to be the typical bloviating business memoir fare--and it's probably a sign of progress that a woman finally gets to be the big blowhard dispensing advice and telling long, drawn-out stories about herself that are thinly veiled brags but are intended as Valuable Lessons To All.  And that's generally what we have. She's right about the different way people perceive assertiveness in men and women, but that's been pretty well-known for some time.  The major take-away from the book is that the consequences for having people think you are pushy are less severe than the consequences of not going after what you want, and that's a pretty good message so far as it goes.

And, the advice is generally good: be assertive, ask directly for what you need, make sure you are involved in the key roles/decisions, be a part of a juggernaut company, be willing to make lateral moves if the new roles are enriching enough, expect your partner to contribute to your marriage and family, and don't expect mentors to be interested in you personally (the unstated; in the narcissistic world of upper level managers who fancy themselves great leaders, it's easier to get them to help you if you fawn over them and are generally attractive).

Again, all fine, if somewhat obvious bits of business advice. That said, to get to them you will have to sit through rather long, self-referential stories about that Thing that Happened to Me Me Me.  It's tempting, in a world whether we treat experience as knowledge, to believe that these personal stories are terribly meaningful,  and that others will benefit from them. And that can be true: you just need to  be amusing and brief, but Sandberg isn't.  The result is boring and cringe-worry when you realize you have just spent three pages reading about how, when she was placed on Forbes' most influential women list at number six above Michelle Obama,  she should have taken all the compliments she received more gracefully than she did.  All well and true, no doubt, but not the sort of situation that many of us are likely to have to fret about, and all in order to convey the point that could be summed on that internet meme with the advice-dispensing duck--"Own your successes."

I read these things so that others don't have to.

Oddly, the book's notes are well worth buying the book for. In the notes you get to avoid all the self-congratulations and in-groupy, name-droppy stories and find plenty of recent empirical studies--with tons of intelligent commentary--about the state of women in the workforce.  So if you do bychance wind up with the book,  I'd suggest taking the memoir part very lightly and go straight to the notes.